Last Monday, as I'm driving back to Huntsville, I was listening to 95.7 jamz. If you're anywhere near Birmingham Alabama or ever been in or near Bham, you know all about 95.7 Jamz. Well this particular morning, one of the deejays posed a question and asked listeners to call in and give their opinion.
Is it appropriate for people to make new friends of the opposite sex while married or in a relationship?
I'll just give my 2 cents on this......and I hope to get a discussion going.
I DO NOT think that it is appropriate. Plain and simple. I look at it like this. Its okay to HAVE friends of the opposite sex, but actually going out seeking NEW friends is a whole nother beast. Especially for men. Many a man has said that they're "visual". They go off of sight. Basically when a man approaches you, its based off your physical appearance. He doesn't know you from a can of paint. He's already got in his mind that he wants to sleep with you. Now to prove this theory, just think about this for a moment. Ladies, if you are in a relationship or are married and you come home and tell your man that you have a new guy friend.....a straight, red-blooded man as a guy friend.....I'm willing to bet that your man will most likely go through the roof! You know why? Because he already knows how men think....or as he will probably put it....he knows what that guy has on his mind. Funny thing is if your man suddenly strikes up a new friendship with some random female, chances are he has those same dirty, sexual intentions.
I do believe that there are exceptions to this, however. As someone pointed out on the show, the key thing in all of this is how he met the female. For instance, a coworker being friends is a great example. Let's just say you and Johnny work together.....it would make sense for you to become friends without an ulterior motive being there. That doesn't mean that it's impossible. For me, it means that I wouldn't exercise my veto powers on this kind of friendship. Now on the flip side, if you met a guy at the gas station. I'm sure he didn't approach you because he thinks you have a great sense of humor. He probably thinks that your ass looks great in those jeans, and he's thinking of how he'd love to see it out of them.
This is simply my opinion.....and others' opinions as well. I do believe that if you and your mate love, respect, and trust one another, that you won't be in a situation that requires you to veto any friendships.